alltimeangela:

why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend

spotifylistener:

when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there

theperksofbeinga-cunt:

jinnkuthekryptonianjedi:

I’m having a fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes. Okay, it’s all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.

Me in the future